The God of Farm Equipment Hates Us
I know this title makes me sound paranoid, but it’s the only possible conclusion one can draw from the events of the last few weeks.
Melissa was mowing the lawn with our riding lawn mower (Usually my job, but I was inside cleaning the house to prepare for a visit from friends.) The engine noise suddenly dropped an octave, so she stopped and noticed oil spurting from somewhere. Not good! (Thank god she was mowing—I probably would have just kept going.) She turned off the engine to protect it from running out of oil and seizing up, then used the four-wheeler to pull the mower 100 feet into the shed. We need to take the mower to a repair shop.
Then several days ago Melissa was at the neighbor’s with her four-wheeler, helping them with a task, and the four-wheeler just stopped. Dead. They couldn’t get it going again. I retrieved Melissa, then she drove her tractor down to the neighbor’s and used it to pull the four-wheeler nearly 1/2 mile home. Our neighbor Craig came to look it over, and he couldn’t figure it out either. We need to take the four-wheeler to a repair shop.
Then yesterday Melissa was on the tractor moving bales into place for winter. (We set out all the bales, then give the sheep and steers access to one at a time.) With Craig’s help, we’ve recently learned the tractor has had—for the last thirty years—some front end issues—the bar supporting the two front wheels is the wrong size for the tractor, so needs to be replaced. We planned to have Craig, or someone else, replace the front end this winter .
As Melissa was doing her thing, she hit a shallow dip in the pasture. The front end of the tractor crumpled like a piece of paper. Melissa pitched forward, but stayed inside the cab. She managed to use the hydraulic front loader to lift and hold up the front end, but that’s all that can be done. We need to have a repair guy come pick up the tractor and take it to his shop.
Not surprisingly, Melissa’s now afraid to drive the pickup or our car. They’re the only engine-based things we have that still work, and she’s afraid she’s cursed!
Two things are going to happen next:
1) Melissa’s going to get a massage to relax all the muscles that tensed when she was pitched forward.
2) We’re thinking of buying a team of draft horses. I’ve heard they don’t break down as often. Draft horses are overseen by the Goddess of Pasture Animals, and she’s much kinder to us than the God of Farm Equipment.